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在中文网络上，因为北大包丽的悲剧，“PUA”这个词变得臭名昭彰。今天我们来介绍英文里另一个词：“gaslighting”，在英文的语境下，这个词的意思更加接近我们所理解的“PUA”。
PUA原本的意思是“Pick-up Artist”，即“把妹达人”或“搭讪匠人”。“pick up”在这个上下文中指的就是搭讪，“pick up line”就是“搭讪的套话”，“line”可以表示“一句话”。“Pick-up Artist”（PUA）所追求或者教授的，就是通过精心设计的开场白和各种技巧，以形成套路的搭讪，吸引和获得陌生异性的注意力，让陌生异性在很短的时间内，对你产生兴趣，或者愿意与你接近和约会。
在中文语境中，“PUA”这个词的含义发生了显著的变化，通常形容在亲密关系中，一方对另一方的精神操控和情感剥削，比如：通过各种心理手段控制和影响伴侣的情绪和行为；不断打击伴侣的自信，让对方产生依赖感；利用伴侣的情感需求来达到自己的目的。
PUA在中文里的意思与原本“把妹达人”的含义已经产生了很大差异，而意思更接近的英文表达其实是“gaslighting”。
接下来，让我们深入了解“gaslighting”这个概念。
What is “Gaslighting”
Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse and mental manipulation where one person causes another to doubt their sanity, perception, memories, or grasp of reality. Typically, the abuser and the victim are in an intimate relationship. This insidious tactic erodes the victim's self-confidence over time. Gaslighting can have long-lasting effects on the victim's mental health and well-being.
汽灯效应是指一个人通过情感虐待和心理操纵，让另一个人怀疑自己的理智、思维、记忆或对现实的掌控。一般来说，汽灯效应里的施虐者和受害者是处于亲密关系中的两个人。这种阴险的策略会随着时间的推移侵蚀受害者的自信。汽灯效应可能长期影响受害者的心理健康和幸福感。
The term comes from the 1938 stage play "Gas Light" and its film adaptations. In the stage play written by Patrick Hamilton, a husband systematically manipulates his wife (Bella) into believing she's losing her sanity. He does this through various tactics:
这个词的出处是1938年的舞台剧《汽灯》及其电影改编。帕特里克·汉密尔顿创作的这部舞台剧中，女主角的丈夫处心积虑地精神操纵妻子（贝拉），使其相信自己正在失去理智。他采用的手段包括：
- Dimming the gas lights in their home and denying it's happening when Bella notices
- 调暗家里的煤气灯，但是贝拉发现时，却矢口否认灯变暗了
- Making strange noises in the attic and claiming Bella is imagining them
- 阁楼上制造奇怪的声音，却声称是贝拉幻听
- Moving objects around the house and insisting Bella misplaced themba
- 把的东西挪来挪去，却坚称是贝拉把它们放错了地方
- Isolating Bella from friends and family to increase her dependence on him
- 不许贝拉与朋友和家人联系，以增加妻子对自己的依赖
The play's tension builds as Bella struggles to distinguish reality from the false narrative her husband has created.
随着贝拉努力分辨现实与丈夫编造的谎言，剧情的紧张气氛不断升级。
Gaslighting的主要特征（Key Characteristics）
- Denial of events or conversations that actually occurred
- 对于的确发生过的事情和对话矢口否认
- Trivializing the victim's emotions and experiences
- 贬低受害者的感受和经历
- Shifting blame onto the victim
- 甩锅给受害者
- Gradually eroding the victim's self-confidence and trust in their own judgment
- 逐渐削弱受害者的自信心和自己判断力的自信
Common Gaslighting Phrases:
- "You're being too sensitive." 你也太敏感了吧。
- "That never happened. You must be imagining things." 绝对没有发生过，是你自己想象出来的。
- "You're overreacting. It's not a big deal." 你小题大做了，哪有那么严重。
- "You're remembering it wrong." 你记错了。
- "I'm only doing this because I care about you." 我这么做全都是因为我在乎你。
“Gaslight”和“Gaslighting”的用法：
gaslight本身可以作为动词使用，虽然很难翻译成中文，但是因为意思相近，直接翻译成PUA反而会很合适：
- "He tried to gaslight her by denying their previous conversation about the party plans." 他们两个明明早就谈过怎么办派对，但他却矢口否认，想PUA她。
- "She realized her partner was gaslighting her when he repeatedly insisted she had agreed to things she couldn't remember." 她发现，她的对象在PUA她，因为有一些事她自己明明没印象，他却总是说她答应过。
- "The politician attempted to gaslight the public by claiming he never made the controversial statement, despite video evidence." 这个政客想PUA老百姓，虽然有视频为证，但他却坚持说自己从没说过视频上那些大逆不道的话。
gaslighting则可以用作名词，表示这种做法，也可以翻译成PUA；
- "The manager's constant gaslighting made the employee doubt their own competence at work." 这个经理总是PUA，让员工觉得自己工作不力。
- "Recognizing gaslighting tactics is crucial for maintaining healthy relationships and protecting one's mental well-being." 想要保持健康的关系，保护自己的精神状态，就得辨别PUA的手段。
词汇短语
emotional abuse
“emotional abuse”翻译成中文是“情感虐待”或“精神虐待”。它指的是在人际关系中，特别是亲密关系中，通过言语或行为对他人造成心理伤害。这种行为可能包括贬低、威胁、操纵、孤立等，会对受害者的自尊、自信和心理健康造成严重影响。
例句：
- The constant criticism and belittling comments from her partner were forms of emotional abuse. 她的伴侣对她持续的批评和贬低，就是情感虐待。
- Recognizing the signs of emotional abuse is crucial for maintaining healthy relationships. 分辨情感虐待的信号对于维持健康的关系至关重要。
- Emotional abuse can be just as damaging as physical abuse, even though it leaves no visible scars. 尽管没有留下肉体上的伤疤，但情感虐待造成的伤害可能与肢体虐待一样严重。
mental manipulation
“mental manipulation”的意思是“心理操纵”或“精神控制”，一种通过心理手段来影响或控制他人思想、情感的行为。这种操纵通常是隐蔽的，目的是为了达到操纵者的某种目的，而被操纵者可能并不意识到自己正在被影响。
例句：
- The cult leader used mental manipulation techniques to control his followers. 邪教头子使用心理操纵术控制他的信众。
- She realized her ex-partner had been engaging in mental manipulation throughout their relationship. 她发现，她的前任在整段关系中一直在进行心理操纵。
- The documentary exposed the mental manipulation tactics used in some advertising campaigns. 这部纪录片揭露了一些广告中使用的心理操纵策略。
intimate relationship
“intimate relationship”的意思是“亲密关系”，通常指两个人之间很亲近、相互信任的关系，比如恋爱关系、夫妻关系，或者非常亲密的友谊。
例句：
- Maintaining a healthy intimate relationship requires open communication and mutual respect. 保持健康的亲密关系需要开诚布公和相互尊重。
- The counselor specializes in helping couples improve their intimate relationships. 这位咨询师擅长帮助夫妻改善他们的亲密关系。
- Trust is the foundation of any intimate relationship, whether romantic or platonic. 无论是爱情还是柏拉图式的关系，信任都是亲密关系的基础。
insidious
“insidious”是一个形容词，意思是“阴险的”、“潜伏的”或“暗中陷害的”，通常用来描述一些看似无害但实际上非常危险或有害的事物，往往在人没有察觉的情况下逐渐产生影响。
例句：
- The insidious effects of prolonged stress on mental health often go unnoticed until it's too late. 长期压力对心理健康的影响悄无声息，发现时往往为时已晚。
- The politician's insidious propaganda slowly eroded public trust in the democratic process. 这个政客阴险的宣传逐渐侵蚀了公众对民主的信任。
- The insidious nature of gaslighting makes it difficult for victims to recognize they are being manipulated. 汽灯效应的阴险本质让受害者难以意识到自己正在被操纵。
erode
“erode”是动词，主要有两层含义：
- 物理意义上的侵蚀或腐蚀，通常指自然力量（如风、水）对地表或物体的逐渐损耗。
- 引申意义上的削弱或减损，指某种力量或影响逐渐减弱某事物。
在本文，“erode”是引申义，描述gaslighting这种行为逐渐削弱人的自信和对自己的认知。
例句：
- Water and wind gradually erode the rocky coastline. 水和风逐渐侵蚀岩石构成的海岸线。
- Constant criticism can erode a person's self-esteem. 长期持续的批评会削弱一个人的自尊心。
- Corruption scandals have eroded public trust in the government. 腐败丑闻削弱了公众对政府的信任。
long-lasting
“long-lasting”是形容词，意思是“持久的”、“长期的”或“耐用的”，用来描述某种状态、效果或物品能够持续、延续很长时间。
例句：
- The new battery technology promises to provide long-lasting power for electric vehicles. 这种新型电池技术有望为电动车提供持久的电力。
- Their friendship has been a long-lasting one, spanning over three decades. 他们的友谊经久不衰，已经持续了三十多年。
- The company is looking for long-lasting solutions to reduce its environmental impact. 这家公司正在寻求长期有效的方案，减少其对环境造成的影响。
film adaptation
“film adaptation”是“电影改编”或“影视改编”的意思，指的是将一部文学作品（如小说、戏剧、漫画等）改编成电影。
“adaptation”这个词的原意是“适应”或“调整”。生物学中指生物为了适应环境而产生的变化。在“film adaptation”这个短语中，它表示将一种媒介（如小说）调整或改编成另一种媒介（电影），以适应新的表现形式。
例句：
- The film adaptation of the bestselling novel stayed true to the book's core themes. 这部畅销小说的电影改编版本忠实呈现了原著的核心主题。
- Scientists study the adaptations of plants and animals to extreme environments. 科学家们研究植物和动物对极端环境的适应。
- Her quick adaptation to the new work culture impressed her colleagues. 她快速适应了新的职场文化，给同事们留下了深刻印象。
manipulate sb. into sth.
“manipulate sb. into sth.”是一个常用的英语短语，意思是“操纵某人做某事”或“诱导某人做某事”。这个短语通常带有负面含义，表示通过巧妙或欺骗的方式影响他人的行为或决定。
例句：
- The salesman manipulated the customer into buying an expensive product they didn't need. 销售员操纵顾客购买了一件他们并不需要的高价产品。
- She felt her friend had manipulated her into lying for him. 她觉得她的朋友诱导她为了他撒谎。
isolate sth./sb. from sth./sb.
“isolate sth./sb. from sth./sb.”的意思是“将某物/某人与某物/某人隔离”或“使某物/人与某物/人分开”，通常是将一个物体、人或概念从其他物体、人或环境中分离出来，可能是为了保护、研究或防止相互影响等目的。
例句：
- Scientists need to isolate the virus from other microorganisms to study it effectively. 科学家们需要将病毒从其他微生物中分离出来，以便高效地研究它。
- The company decided to isolate its sensitive data from the main network to enhance security. 公司决定将敏感数据与主网络隔离，以加强安全性。
- Parents sometimes struggle to isolate their children from negative influences in society. 父母有时会努力将孩子与社会中的负面影响隔离开来。
tension builds
“tension builds”意为“紧张氛围加剧”或“紧张感逐渐增加”。
在这个短语中，我们可以简单地把“build”理解为“increase”（增加），只不过“build”能更生动地描绘一种渐进的、持续的增长，而不是突然的变化。
例句：
- As the deadline approached, tension built among the team members. 随着截止日期临近，团队成员之间的紧张气氛逐渐加剧。
- The tension builds slowly throughout the movie, keeping the audience on the edge of their seats. 电影中的紧张感慢慢积累，让观众一直处于紧张状态。
where引导的定语从句
原文中，有个where做关系词引导的定语从句：
Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse and mental manipulation where one person causes another to doubt their sanity, perception, memories, or grasp of reality.
这里作简要的讲解。如果大家感兴趣，可以多点赞留言，以后深入讲讲定语从句。
定语从句的基本结构是：（主句里的）先行词 + 关系词（关系代词或者关系副词） + 从句。
这句话里的关系词和从句最好找，where是关系副词，引导了后面的定语从句（where one person causes another to doubt their sanity, perception, memories, or grasp of reality）。
所谓的从句，就是用一小句话在主句当中充当一个词的功能。这个从句是定语从句，所以我们可以把整个从句当成是一个形容词（因为最常用来做定语的是形容词）。
形容词要修饰名词（或者代词），才能叫做定语。所以我们要去找这个定语从句修饰的是谁（也就是主句中的先行词）。
定语从句里，关系词其实就是先行词的替身，代替先行词在从句里发挥作用。我们知道，先行词肯定是名词（或者代词），所以关系词是关系代词的时候，这样的替身作用很好转换，我们可以简单地把关系代词变成it或者he或者she或者they，然后把从句转换成独立的简单句。比如：
He drives a car that is fast.
关系代词that是先行词car的替身，这句话就可以分成两句，主句是He drives a car，从句里的关系代词转换成先行词就变成了It (the car) is fast。
关系副词本质上也是先行词的替身，只不过因为它是副词，所以在从句里发挥的是状语的作用。所以我们要根据上下文加上一个介词，才能更好地理解关系副词与先行词的关系，比如表达地点的关系副词where，我们可以替换成in which；表达时间的关系副词when，我们可以替换成at which。比如：
This is the house where I grew up.
这里的where可以替换为"in which"，整句话可以拆分为：
This is the house. In it (the house), I grew up.
所以在我们最开始的例句中：
Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse and mental manipulation where one person causes another to doubt their sanity, perception, memories, or grasp of reality.
这里的where可以理解为"in which":
Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse and mental manipulation in which one person causes another to doubt their sanity, perception, memories, or grasp of reality.
先行词是"emotional abuse and mental manipulation"。整句话可以理解为：
Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse and mental manipulation. In it (this form of abuse and manipulation), one person causes another to doubt their sanity, perception, memories, or grasp of reality.
通过这样的分析和转换，我们就可以更清楚地理解where引导的定语从句与它所修饰的先行词之间的关系了。
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